Who needs enemies with friends like ours

2day was an interesting day to say the least Me and my wife finally got our stuff back from christian and megan let me tell you a little bit about them megan is the friend of jene who we let in our home when she left her husband told us that he was homosexual and preceded on having an affair with 2 or 3 firefighters christian is her husband who is an EMT for the county and thinks that he is all hot shit when he aint nothing but a warm fart when i found out what was happening i told her she had to leave now they got back together she got pregnant and they seem to be trying to work it out well my wife wanted to hang around them again and i did not think this was a good idea because i know trouble when I see it but i told her go ahead well while hanging out she let her borrow 3 Wii games a rifle for the Wii and all 4 books in the twilight series they went on vacation and my wife agreed on watching a duck and 2 rabbits for about 4 days we ended up keeping them for 3 weeks and they never once acted like we had them they did not ever come to pick them up well i called them to ask them to come pick them up and megan thought i was Jene and got her prissy attitude this attitude is one reason i dont like her her daddy or her husband aint got enough gumption or backbone to give her a grand ass whippin with a belt like she needs well this turned into a 3 day argument and they preceded to play this BS game of not giving it back and I told them I was on the way with the law christian laughed and said i work for the county who do you think they gonna believe little does the boy know i have family and friends in county law enforcement and the local FBI and he was moments from losing his county job and going to jail he told me i have you threatening to kill me WRONG all i told him is give me 15 minutes of your time and i will beat your butt in the ground well they threw all of our stuff across the yard tore up half of it before hand and thought it was funny to do other peoples stuff like that and get away with it I DON'T THINK SO in the middle of this i called megan's father to let him know i was going to take a warrant out for her and christian's arrest them 2 preceded to keep calling me and could not let it go like grown ups well megans father called me back and told me he heard me threatening his kids and if anything happened to them he would come looking to see me well like I told him Mr Howard I aint hard to find and their was no threatening just because megan called my mother whom was taken away from this world abruptly 2 years ago a lard ass and was glad she died and she was no good for nothing on this world i told them that christians butt was mine and I am swearing here and now when I see that boy wont nothing stop me from beating the living hell out of him he is a coward so as of now this is over but when i do see him again he will feel my pain and he wont take it as a loss he will take it as a lesson

Ain't nobody cutting my dogs balls off

Me and Jene was in PetCo yesterday when we were approached at the checkout by the editor of Critters Magazine. Let me tell you she was a fruitcake and then some Well she asked if she could take my wife's little mutt Sue Bear off her hands she just loved wiry hair terrier's then looks down at my big blue male Romeo and asked if he was fixed I came off quick with that answer NO!!!! well she said she had a soft spot for APBT's and that they needed to be fixed if not a male can get in to a lot of trouble and he has so much testosterone he was headed down the wrong path well she went out to her car to get us a copy of her magazine and i told my wife this lady doesn't know it but my dog's balls are worth more than her foreign made POS car ain't nobody whacking my dogs balls off well in she come with her prissy attitude and looked at me and said well i know if you fix your dog its like you have been fixed then looked at my wife and said talk him into it please I wanted to tell her to take her magazine and stick it up her you know what and go drive her car into a wall but...... I was nice and totally ignored the witch and thought her life must really suck to show so much interest in a strangers dog's balls GO GET A LIFE NUMNUTS